09 November 2006

rumsfeldisms

i received this in an email today - thanks darris - but it was so funny i had to post it. see - as we say good-bye to mister rumsfeld - it only makes sense that we go back and look at his most profound quotes over the years. enjoy!

1. 'i would not say that the future is necessarily less predictable than the past. i think the past was not predictable when it started.'
2. 'we do know of certain knowledge that he [osama bin laden] is either in afghanistan, or in some other country, or dead.'
3. 'we know where they are. they're in the area around tikrit andbaghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat.' -on iraq's weapons of mass destruction
4. 'death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.'
5. 'freedom's untidy, and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.' -on looting in iraq after the u.s. invasion, adding 'stuff happens'
6. 'as you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time.'
7. 'i am not going to give you a number for it because it's not my business to do intelligent work.' -asked to estimate the number of iraqi insurgents while testifying before congress
8. 'i believe what i said yesterday. i don't know what i said, but i know what i think, and, well, i assume it's what i said.'
9. 'needless to say, the president is correct. whatever it was he said.'
10. 'reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. we also know there are known unknowns; that isto say we know there are some things we do not know. but there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know.'
11. 'if i said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate, necessarily accurate. it might also not be inaccurate, but i'm disinclined to mislead anyone.'
12. 'there's another way to phrase that and that is that the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. it is basically saying the same thing in a different way. simply because you do not have evidence that something does exist does not mean that you have evidence that it doesn't exist.' -on iraq's weapons of mass destruction
13. 'it is unknowable how long that conflict [the war in iraq] will last. it could last six days, six weeks. i doubt six months." -in feb. 2003
14. 'well, um, you know, something's neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so, i suppose, as shakespeare said.'
15. 'secretary powell and i agree on every single issue that has ever been before this administration except for those instances where colin's still learning.'
16. 'learn to say 'i don't know.' if used when appropriate, it will be often.'
17. 'i don't know what the facts are but somebody's certainly going to sit down with him and find out what he knows that they may not know, and make sure he knows what they know that he may not know.'
18. 'i'm not into this detail stuff. i'm more concepty.'
19. 'i don't do quagmires.'
20. 'i don't do diplomacy.'
21. 'i don't do foreign policy.'
22. 'now, settle down, settle down. hell, i'm an old man, it's early in the morning and i'm gathering my thoughts here.'
23. 'if i know the answer i'll tell you the answer, and if i don't, i'll just respond, cleverly.'
looking back on all of this - it's no wonder he was bush's man of war - these quotes sound like they come from the 'president' himself - the morons - makes you proud to be an american - or scared shitless - one of the two. adios rumsfeld!

a week :: a recap

what a week (and it's only thursday) - my god - political change - celebrity drama - and rumsfeld.

knowing that this week was mid-term elections for many states - i already knew it was going to be a humdinger. the democrats had a great opportunity to take back the house, senate, and the top seats of the states and they did - smack that ass mister bush - i guess we will be in this week to measure for drapes! (on a side-bar - did you hear bush's comment in his post-election speech yesterday talking about how he could recommend a replublican decorator to help nancy pelosi measure for drapes - what a dick - anyway - here's a quote from the herald tribune - 'the president joked that he had given house minority leader nancy pelosi, in line to become the first female speaker of the house, the name of a republican interior decorator to help her pick out drapes for her new office. the comment was poke at the california democrat's pre-election remark about having her pick of capitol building suites.') it's truly exciting times indeed. the losers were of course the republicans (yay) and the gays (boo).

gays still can't get married - no shock there - not sure what it'll take to gain those kinds of rights. i'm not even sure i'd even jump on the marriage thing even if we were able to but to deny the right to anyone to do what they wish when they are in love isn't right. who knows - one day it may happen. hopefully by then i will have found love and have different views of the subject - until then - i'll stay bitter and single - lol. but not neil patrick harris - that's right - dr. doogie howser came out of the closet this week stating that '(he is) quite proud to say that (he is) a very content gay man living my life to the fullest.' - not a big shock there but good for him - hey neil - wanna get married?

on the subject of marriage - what the hell is up with britney spears (who i like to call shitney brears) and k-fed (aka loser)? come on now - divorce - like we didn't see that coming. i think britney finally looked in the mirror and realized how pathetic her life had become. she went from being pop princess back to poor white trash in a matter of 9+ months (a baby or two can do that to you). she did marry an talentless hack who has been mooching off of what's left of her fame for way too long. she's no longer cute - she's fat - and let's just say - tragic. someone yesterday even told me that k-fed's tickets were being given away in chicago because no one cared to buy them.

i think this is potentially a great move for britney - her loyal fans will come to her rescue - leave it to the gays to take a tragic someone and turn them back into a grand diva (i submit donna summer as exhibit a). i expect this could mean a 'comeback' for our dear pop princess? at least a vegas show - or - branson! [read more on gawker]

last but not least - let's take this time to say good-bye to an old fart - donald rumsfeld. evidently 'president' bush had to have a fall guy for how poorly the war in iraq was going - so - let's put it all on don's head. why not - he's only been in his post longer than anyone ever in the history of our country.

now now - i don't think this is a bad idea - the guy should have been pushed out years ago - i just think it'll be a mess to clean up and i would hate to be in robert gates' shoes right now. if confirmed - gates will take the place of rumsfeld as the secretary of defense. this task will be like trying to clean an oil spill the size of texas with an sos sponge and some pledge.

with the democrats back in power - we just have to play nice for two more years when we can fully take back the white house. hillary clinton for president anyone? won't that be fun!

08 November 2006

theatrical thoughts :: a chorus line

a chorus line
gerald schoenfeld theatre :: new york, ny
attended :: november 7, 2006

months ago when i purchased my ticket to see the remounted production of 'a chorus line' - i was beside myself with glee and thought - 'my god - november can't get here quick enough'. boy was i wrong - november got here quicker than ever (ps - what the hell happened to summer?) and last night was the night i had been waiting for.

in my true fashion - i was running late. a work meeting kept me later than i wanted - so at about 7:15 i bolted over to meet my companions at john's pizzeria on 44th street for a quick makers on the rocks and headed to the show.

it's rare that i ever pay full price for any tickets to shows - this was an exception. $111 for seats in the balcony - wow - it does cost a lot to support the arts - haha. it was a hundred million degrees in the theatre. fun right?

so far so - eh.

the lights dim - you see the cast quietly hand in hand walk across 'the line' - the mirrors spin around - and the show's famous first line - 'again!' - is uttered and off they go with a running start (or a ballet leap) - regardless - flawless. instant chills. the dancing was spot on and the energy was amazing.

eliminations begin and the dancers on the line are reduced down to 17. now - this is where the audience can really take a good look at the leads of the show. if the director of the show (bob avian) intended this to happen - i don't know - but here on the line - were 17 plain people. none of them particularly stunning (don't get me wrong - there are some hotties in the cast) - none of them stood out - it was as if they went out of the way to cast 'bland' people.

because bland-looking people generally give bland performances - this is exactly what happened. suddenly and without warning - the show just took a nose dive. nothing had changed from the original production - so there really wasn't a lot to keep the audience interested in what was going on. some of the better numbers performed by the ensemble were 'at the ballet' and 'hello twelve...' - but individually - the cast fell apart.

very weak performances by charlotte d'amboise (cassie - wasn't strong enough in the roll - she didn't connect with the audience enough to make us feel sorry for her situation - and for christ's sake - 'the music and the mirror' dance break has always been about two and a half minutes too long) - jessica lee goldyn (val - for having tits and ass she had a lot of 'fat' everywhere else - should could have milked it a little more and belted to the hills - just simply a bad casting decision) - and natalie cortez (diana - had potential if she didn't sing in the back of her throat) - while others shined above them all - jason tam (paul - absolutely flawless execution of the 'drag' monologue) - mara davi (maggie - so perky - eyes on her the entire time - great voice - great energy) - and deidre goodwin (sheila - absolutely perfect for the role - one of the more solid entertainers on the stage).

the closing number was - as always - visually spectacular. again - the ensemble was solid - individually is where the cast fell flat.

i'd recommend this show to anyone who truly loves the show/movie - but keep in mind - nothing has changed - it's pretty much the same experience to watch it on your tv - and with that - you can at least pause to pee or get a drink - 'a chorus line' on broadway is performed without an intermission! and whatever you do - just don't pay full price for your ticket.

thanks to manna for the inspiration and thoughts that added to this post. lol - we usually see it eye to eye!

buy the cd from amazon.com - a chorus line :: the new broadway cast recording

06 November 2006

attack of the celebrity troll dolls

ok so i was sitting in my office today watching tv - come on - don't you all watch tv in your office? anyway - i tuned into the very underwhelming megan mullally show (why megan why - bring back karen or come back to broadway - talk shows just aren't for you) and her special guest was the legendary barry manilow.

now you have to hand it to the man - at 147 years old (give or take) he's still out there singing and doing his thing. he's been on every major talk show lately. he even was on martha stewart (used to hate her but her new post-prison image makes me laugh) and rachel ray (who i think should die in a sea of acidic 'peppiness' - hate her) at the same time on the same day - talk about 'could it be magic'! but seeing him over and over has really made me believe that barry - is - in reality - a troll doll.

years of plastic surgery have really not done this aging singer very well. take a look at the photo at the top - notice the family resemblance? small chin - big ears - awkward eyes - and sculpted cheeks - i think we have a winner. aging celebrities almost always start to look alike anyway.

another troll to be on the look-out for is the ever-aging rod stewart. one could almost argue that he and barry go to the same plastic surgeon. take a look at the picture to the right - if it's not the same surgeon - they must go to the same barber!

why are these musicians still making music anyway. both barry and rod's latest releases (the great songs of the sixtiesand thanks for the memory...the great american songbook iv) are compilations created by other artists - tributes if you will - of times long since past. in a way - ironic - as their time seems to have past too. oldy - moldy - troll-like. but for most women over 50 - two of the sexiest men alive - i don't get it - but then again - i'm not a 50+ woman - yet - lol.

03 November 2006

say something photo :: oprah and madonna

this made me laugh so hard - it's a funny gif based on the oprah / madonna interview. click on the photo to the left to see the animation - enjoy.