heart break

my heart broke a little today. you see - i've had this crush. and not one of those stupid school girl crushes you get in the 4th grade in math class to little freddy freckle face over there - i mean a crush stemming from a connection that is rarely felt in life.

i feel that it's only fair to give you some of the back story here. back in late-june - my roommate and i went to london to partake in europride festivities with our friends michael and jeremy who had recently relocated there from bermuda. perhaps i was tossing out the otp (out of town personality) - but the boys were quite friendly. one in particular was this boy i met in clapham at a bar called two brewers. there - back on the dance floor was a very cute guy. cute guy and i played the eye catch ballet for hours.

i'm shy - what can i say - it takes a lot for me to actually go up and say hi to anyone.

after what seemed like 4 weeks in the bar - said boy finally pulled me aside to talk. we hit it off. it was discovered that we were both strangers in a strange land - meaning i was from the us and he was from a far off african country in the south (get my drift.) night of bliss followed by 2 more nights out and about - he was charming - knew how to say all of the correct things at just the right time - and man oh man was he ever dashing. my heart still flutters when i think about it all.

for the first time in a very long while - i felt a connection. i don't know if it was a fluke but it was there. and as most holiday romances are - usually they end as soon as you land in your home destination. not this one - daily conversations via email, im, and text message were to follow. we've developed quite a friendship - which really is the best part about it. realistically we know the distance would be an issue and to actually date would be next to impossible not to mention very very expensive.

today - the bomb was dropped. he has entered a relationship. i'm happy for him on this - i always wish people happiness in life - especially if i'm not the one that can personally provide that. his relationship - however - is with his female flatmate. what???

i always knew he lived outside the lines of labels but this did take me for a loop. we still have our friendship - which we will keep - and he'll always have a special place in my heart - and yes - i'm sure occasionally it'll flutter when i think back on those 3 marvelous days together in london - the boys from out of town.

miss him.